


drinking games

by huangrenjn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Drunk Kissing, Heart Break, Kissing, Lots of Angst, Lots of kissing, M/M, Making Out, lots of kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 19:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17566742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huangrenjn/pseuds/huangrenjn
Summary: renjuns sick of hearing jaemin say “we're sober now, we should just forget” he doesn’t understand how jaemin can spend his drunk nights kissing, making promises & then pretending as if nothing happened.





	drinking games

**Author's Note:**

> hi !! this isnt my first fic but it is my first ao3 fic. please disregard any spelling errors and enjoy :)

renjun hated parties. renjun also hated (read: loved) jaemin. but here he was once again at a party watching jaemin slowly sway back and forth to the loud ass music with a big smile plastered on his face. jaemin was beautiful. even in his drunken state, he was still the most beautiful boy renjun had ever seen. he feel like he could watch him forever.

 

renjun takes his gaze away from jaemin. he doesn’t want him to notice and make his way over. renjun  _ doesn’t _ want to see him. he doesn’t want another repeated night like the past four months, but jaemin is just so damn breathtaking. 

 

and renjun tries not to stare at jaemin across the room any longer, or think about his smile or the one time he dragged him into his room, tangling their legs together and tasting sangria vodka deep in his mouth. but it's all he thinks about.

 

renjun feels a nudge on his shoulder but ignores it as just someone pumping into him and he keeps his eyes on jaemin. 

 

then there's a stabbing pain and he looks over to see lucas pressing his finger into his side

 

“ow, lucas. what the fuck?”

 

“i’ve been calling your name for like five minutes, did you not hear me ?” the older boy asks. 

 

renjun glances back over to jaemin, only to see he’s left.

 

“renjun.” lucas says clearly annoyed.

 

“uh, oh i’m sorry. did you need anything?”

 

“i wanted to know if you’d like a drink.” 

 

renjun wants to say no but he’s already ignored the boy and his presence so he gives in and takes the offer.

 

“yeah, sur—“ he's cut off by a pair of fingers interlocking with his and he doesn’t need to look to know its jaemin. renjuns heart begins to speed and the butterflies in his stomach run wild. 

 

“he doesn’t drink.” jaemin says to lucas right before turning around and leaving. dragging renjun right behind him. 

 

jaemin takes the two of them outside and pauses.

 

“did you drive here?” he asks. renjuns shakes his head yes and leads jaemin to his car. 

 

“where to?”

 

“your place.” 

 

and despite renjun not wanting to see or be with jaemin, he takes them there anyways. 

 

They’re not even four steps into house before jaemins spining renjun around and cupping his cheeks, bringing him into a kiss. 

renjun melts right into the kiss. he loves the way jaemins lips feel on his, especially with the way jaemin nips at them. he loves it. He’s filled with fire and his heart feels like it could explode at any second. The kiss is needy and renjun wants to explore all of jaemin. 

 

jaemins fingers play with the back of renjuns neck and brings him in closer but renjun pulls aways just for a second to try his luck.

 

“don't leave this time, okay?” and jaemins nodding his head yes as he pulls renjun back in. 

 

the two kissed for forever. it's what they did, jaemin got drunk, kissed renjun and renjun gave in. its been going on for months. renjun doesn't quite remember when it all started but he does know that he couldn’t get enough of it—at first. 

 

within the first month of spending weekend nights with jaemins lips pressed against his, renjun started to develop feelings for his friend.

 

he tried giving out hints and talking to jaemin about it the shared kisses whenever he was sober but every single time he brought it up, jaemin simply replies with “were sober now, let's just forget” 

 

eventually renjun got tired of it and tried to distance himself from jaemin. it didn't work, because everytime jaemin came over in the middle of the night drunk or asked renjun to attend a party with him, renjun caved in and went back to him. and they'd end up like they did every night, with their lips attached to one another's with that same horrible taste of sangria vodka on jaemin. 

 

when the two had finally stopped kissing, they went to sleep. and when renjun woke, jaemin was gone. renjun doesn’t know why he even tried. 

 

that entire day renjun busied himself to distract his mind from jaemin, and it worked. that is l, until jaemin texted him.

 

_ jaem: are you going to marks party tonight ?  _ to which renjun replied with “no” and went on with himself. 

  
  


renjun was tired of parties. he was tired of alcohol and he was tired of jaemin. he wanted nothing more than to stay in all night and sleep. so that's what he did. 

 

until he hears knocking on his door at 3 am. 

 

renjuns quick to throw his fuzzy blanket around him and shuffle to his door. when he opens it, there stands a drunk jaemin. 

 

“can i come in… please?” jaemin asked with his head pressed against the wall.

 

renjuns hesitant. he doesn't want to send the drunk boy home but he knows what’ll happen if he lets him in. he debates with himself for a minute before finally deciding to let him come inside. 

 

renjun shuffles back into his room and sits on his bed as jaemin trails behind him following his actions. the two sit in a long silence until jaemin moves a little closer to renjun and plants a single kiss on his neck.

 

“jaem stop.” renjun says shrugging jaemin away from him.

 

“why?”

 

“you're drunk.”

 

“mhm, doesn't matter”

 

“yes it does. jaemin im sick and tired of y—“ and renjuns cut off by jaemins lips leaving a short kiss on them. 

 

“tell me to stop and i will.”

 

renjun stayed silent. he wanted jaemin to stop, right? he was tired of feeling used so why couldn’t he just tell jaemin to leave, that he was over everything. 

 

“yes or no renjun”

 

“yes?” renjun paused,” i mean, no? jaemin i don't fucking knowi don't fucking know.” he huffed.

 

“well then, i'll just lea—“ jaemins the one being cut off this time with renjuns lips pressed to his. 

 

the kiss was slow and steady.  **_almost_ ** passionate. jaemin puts his hands on renjuns hips and brings him closer. 

 

jaemin tastes different tonight. sweeter, like cinnamon. renjun likes it a whole lot more than the vodka. the vodka was bitter and reminded him of bad times. but this, this was sweet. and renjun thought that maybe, just maybe this symbolized a difference for him and jaemin.

 

**_he was wrong._ **

 

the next morning when renjun woke up, jaemin was gone. renjun couldn’t do anything but cry. he was so so stupid. how could he even think that things between them would be different. jaemin doesn't like him, at least not in the same way. 

 

renjun feels pathetic, he let jaemin come right back. he hates himself for letting him and he hates himself even more for initiating it, he hates himself most for knowing he'd do it all again. 

 

that night renjun receives another text from jaemin.

 

_ jaem: party tonight at jenos, you coming?  _

_ jaem: i really would like you to be there _

_ jaem: i wanna see you _

 

and despite renjun feeling pathetic and not wanting to see jaemin, he caves. 

  
  


renjun enters jeno’s house and just wonders a little. he knew jaemin asked him to be here but he didn’t want to see him just yet.    
  
He ends up walking into the kitchen to get a drink when he feels an arm snake around his waist and a pair of lips gently kissing his neck. he didn't need to look to know it was jaemin. he also didn’t need to speak to him to know he was already drunk.   
  
the kisses turn to little bites and renjun feels  _ guilty _ .  _ guilty _ for letting himself melt right into jaemin.    
  
jaemin pulls away and intertwined his fingers with renjuns. “follow me.” he says, and renjun does so.   
  
jaemin leads renjun straight to the fridge, where he opens the freezer and pulls out an ice cube. then he’s dragging him up the stairs and into a room.    
  
“why do you have an ic—“   
  
“shhh, sit.” jaemin interrupts. renjun does as jaemin says, sitting criss cross on the bed and waits to see what going to happen.    
  
jaemin joins renjun on the bed and puts the ice cube in his mouth and waits. a few seconds later and jaemin starts to lean over and kiss renjun slowly. he passes the ice to renjun and renjun passes it back. jaemin starts to speed up as they pass the ice back and forth. 

 

it sends chills up and down renjuns spine and leaves goosebumps across his body. it's not like any kiss they’ve had before. the ice is cold but the kiss is burning. renjun loves the way it feels.

 

the ice slowly began to melt between their kiss and as it does jaemin inches closer to renjun to nip at his lips and deepen the kiss.    
  
there was that was taste again. sangria vodka. and although renjun hated vodka, he loved the taste on jaemin.    
  
the next morning renjun wakes up in his bed alone. 

 

and this cycle continues on, as it did before. over and over and over again. 

 

it's another two months before renjun finally breaks and can’t take it anymore. he needs to talk to jaemin and sort things out.

 

_ to jaemin _

_ from renjun: we need to talk _

_ jaem: about ? _

_ renjun: a lot. please just come to my place? _

_ jaem: okay? see you soon _

 

as he waits for jaemin, renjun paces back and forth. he knows what he wants to say to the other but it’s so nerve wrecking and he can’t get himself to calm down. he doesn’t want to hear what jaemin has to say, because deep down he already knows. but it has to be done. 

 

a few moments later there’s knocking on renjuns door and he's quick to let jaemin in. the two boys sit across from each other on renjuns coach. the air is thick and you can feel the tension. renjun hates it, so much. 

 

“it's been going on too long jaem.” renjun starts out. “and i don't know when it happened because it all happened so fucking fast but i don't know.”

 

“renjun what are you trying to say?”

 

renjuns frustrated, he doesn’t know how to word his words and he's scared of jaemins response. he wants to cry and scream and just throw a fit.“that i like you.” renjuns whispers. “and i know you know this. i know you pick up the hints. i know you try to deny my feelings for you and i know you deny the topic...and i know you don't feel the same way.”

 

renjuns crying now. 

 

“ren…” jaemin starts. “i tried. i really tried my hardest to like you the way you like me but i just can't. i like being your best friend, i like spending time with you and i like our little movie marathons and i like when we do dumb shit together. i like kissing you, god i _love_ kissing you. but i **_can't love you._** not the way you love me. and i'm so sorry renjun i really am.” 

 

renjuns sobbing now.

 

“then it has to stop. i can't do it anymore. it has to stop jaemin.” renjun cries out.

 

“im sorry ren. i'm sorry i let it get this far.” and now jaemins crying too as he stands up to leave. “i truly am so sorry renjun.” is the last thing jaemin says before he leaves.

 

everything was over now. all the drunk kisses, gone. all the butterflies and burning skin, gone. all the doubt, gone. just like that. as quick as night turns to day, gone. in truth, it was bitter sweet but it hurt. it hurt renjun so much because he loves jaemin. and renjun cries, and he cries and he cries because everything hurts so damn much. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> please remember that you deserve love. happy and healthy love. not one soded love, not toxic love, health love. 
> 
> p.s. renjuns heart mends


End file.
